Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
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I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize