no, he came in my armpit
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize