Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
