No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
