It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
should my penis look like a turkey
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
