You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
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you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
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All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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