chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
