is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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