that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
