she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
