You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Even my vagina gasped.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
