he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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