So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
