just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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