OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
