Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
