Say something about gay babies.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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