Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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