i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize