yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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