The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
