Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
