I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
