Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You can't special order awesome
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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