It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
