Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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