he thought i was a dude.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
