So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize