So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
