when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
