The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
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I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
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Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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