I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
