I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
