Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
