somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize