his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
