Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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