Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize