That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
