I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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