omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
