At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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