I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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