I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
