Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
