One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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