Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
