Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize