he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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