dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
