Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
