Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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