This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When did angry sex become our thing?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
