I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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