Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize