My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
