it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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