But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
