Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
