All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Say something about gay babies.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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