k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
