I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
