too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
