capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
