check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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