8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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